Men Who Are Or Once Were CUTE
I have just managed to amuse myself greatly, and I feel compelled to share the entertainment with others who will understand.
I found a chart I made of “Men Who Are Or Once Were CUTE” as of January 1994, when I was eleven years old. This is like the prototypical document of the obsessive fangirl.
It’s an attempt to compile a list of every attractive male actor, ever. In alphabetical order, with a color-coded key to identify the traits of each one.
Notice anything odd about the list of traits?
Yes, between “singer” and “especially cute,” there is a red colored dot to indicate which cute actors HAPPEN TO BE DEAD.
I also wonder what the distinction was between “old” and “not especially young, not old, old,” and am deeply embarrassed at my use of the phrase “hot teen shows.”
Man, my eleven-year-old self was weird.
Current Mood: 
weird
12 Responses to “Men Who Are Or Once Were CUTE”
Fenchurch on January 6, 2010 3:00 am | Link
I love that it’s in alphabetical order! And I love that you created color coded categories for them… that’s so quirky and adorable. Should we start calling you Willow now?
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rusty-halo on January 6, 2010 3:39 pm | Link
Haha, thanks.
My own personal narrative is that I was a geeky sci-fi kid who became a grunge/goth teenager. It’s eye-opening to realize that I was also once a ~TEENAGE GIRL~ (in mentality if not quite in age). Though clearly I was as obsessively nerdy about it as I was about everything else!
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trepkos on January 6, 2010 3:56 am | Link
I’m always glad when I find something like this!
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rusty-halo on January 6, 2010 3:39 pm | Link
I don’t know if “glad” is the right word, but I’m far more amused than I am mortifyingly embarrassed.
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nutmeg3 on January 6, 2010 8:05 am | Link
That’s priceless! I hope you’re going to frame it. I love it that they’re alphabetical by first name, making the popularity of certain names obvious. Though it’s a little hard to tell the red dots apart and see who was actually dead. *g*
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rusty-halo on January 6, 2010 3:34 pm | Link
I hope you’re going to frame it.
Oh, god, no! It’s getting buried back in the pile of mortifying juvenile inanity from which it came.
The colors are a little clearer on the document itself because some of them are in nail polish (!!!) and thus three-dimensional. I am so glad that I outgrew that phase quickly!
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Meltha on January 6, 2010 11:34 am | Link
Well, we seem to have shared an appreciation for Richard Greico. :)
Eh, I still regularly get crushes on dead actors, mainly because I love classic movies. It’s not like I’m actually going to date any LIVE celebrities, so really, what’s the difference between drooling over Brad Pitt or James Dean?
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rusty-halo on January 6, 2010 3:24 pm | Link
Richard Grieco definitely had a window of cuteness. Wasn’t he on 21 Jump Street? I knew him from this (in retrospect, awful) spy comedy called If Looks Could Kill.
I agree about the crushes on dead actors, but there is just something so morbidly odd about tagging actors as “dead” using a color-coded system.
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Steffi on January 6, 2010 2:23 pm | Link
You are so cute! I love that Willie Aames is on there, lol.
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rusty-halo on January 6, 2010 3:18 pm | Link
Oh, man, you’re right! Because I used to think Charles in Charge was hilarious. I was such a dork.
I miss you, Steff. And … HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY! I’m sorry I didn’t write to you sooner. I am making a New Year’s Resolution right now to see you more this year.
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soundingsea on January 6, 2010 3:20 pm | Link
Oh, adorable. (And maybe the dead-ness was important because it affected future datability?)
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rusty-halo on January 6, 2010 3:28 pm | Link
I guess datability was on my mind, with all the convoluted tagging related to age. “Not especially young, not old, old”???
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