What the fuck is wrong with people?
A lot of other people have pointed out the disgusting misogyny and male privilege in this bullshit post, so I’m not going to repeat what they’ve said. But I will add a response to this, since the asshole has pulled a flounce and turned off comments:
a beautiful girl in an incredibly skimpy blue Princess outfit strode down the hallway, obviously putting her assets on display
When I dress in revealing clothes at conventions, I do so because I LIKE THE WAY THE OUTFITS LOOK and I LIKE THE WAY I LOOK IN THEM. It’s for ME, not for YOU. I don’t do it to put my “assets on display” and it is NOT an invitation for men to sexually harass me by asking to grope my breasts.
!!!!!
ETA, because I’m still livid about this: It makes me not want to dress up at DragonCon this year, to hide myself in something huge and frumpy. But I shouldn’t have to! I shouldn’t have to go out into the world with the default assumption that I’m going to be objectified and harassed, and that I’m responsible for taking steps to prevent that by hiding my body. (As if that even works–I still get catcalls in the frumpiest outfits, because street harassment is just as much about power and intimidation as it is about commenting on a woman’s appearance.)
Just… gah… *incoherent rage*.
ETA 2: ![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
misia has the best response yet.
Current Mood: 
angry
25 Responses to “What the fuck is wrong with people?”
katesutton on April 22, 2008 5:18 pm | Link
I’ve been gaping at that post in disbelief for, oh, about half the day now. I just..WHAT. What makes someone think they even have the right to ASK THAT QUESTION? NO, my body is not public property, to be touched by random strangers. I hate it when customers in my bookstore even pat me on the arm or back. And don’t even *try* to make this about women being comfortable with their bodies. No.
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rusty-halo on April 22, 2008 5:25 pm | Link
I just… seriously, I’m just still boggling in rage. How can anyone be so utterly clueless? And act like he’s defending womens’ sexuality? And that all this somehow makes him enlightened? And completely miss the power dynamics and social histories of the actions he’s talking about? And compare womens’ fear of rape to his social unease when it comes to flirting?! And now to pull a flounce and play the victim?!
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katesutton on April 22, 2008 5:41 pm | Link
It’s unbelievable. No, the reason why it is NOT OKAY for you to approach a woman and ask to touch her isn’t because the poor thing is ashamed of her body. It’s because her body= NOT YOURS. It’s not HARD, not if you show basic respect for women. And not only did he turn off comments, he appears to have deleted them. Nice.
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mrv3000 on April 22, 2008 5:28 pm | Link
People on the flist have been posting about it today, and it’s just…it’s just SO pathetic. Every last bit of it. For so many reasons.
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rusty-halo on April 22, 2008 5:30 pm | Link
It kind of reminds me of this insanity. Because apparently women only exist to validate the egos of insecure men. *seethes*
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a_white_rain on April 22, 2008 6:57 pm | Link
Oh god the male privilege just REEKS right there.
AND GUYS. I DON’T WANT A BOYFRIEND. AT ALL. I might want a friend. Which I would value just as much as a romantic partner.
Unless, like this entire post is implying, I’m only good for sex. Well, then, you’re not really a nice guy are you? No, you’re an Oppressed Nice Guy(tm). A world of difference.
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netweight on April 22, 2008 5:41 pm | Link
I couldn’t finish reading the post. I actually had to push to get past the first few paragraphs and decided to stop once I started flapping my hands around and rolling the chair back away from the table to create distance from the screen.
I’m for knowledge in most situations, but seriously this time ignorance is bliss. I DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW.
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rusty-halo on April 22, 2008 5:49 pm | Link
OMG. Seriously. You are probably better off not knowing. :(
At least there are now a gazillion posts articulating why this is so horrible. Hopefully some guys out there will learn something from it all.
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netweight on April 22, 2008 6:17 pm | Link
I mean, the description alone of the taking turns and then coming back to compare and *GAGS* WHAT THE FLYING FUCK, MAN? THE WHOLE THING READ LIKE SUCH A VIOLATION OF PERSONAL INTEGRITY AND JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WTF FOREVER
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a_white_rain on April 22, 2008 6:53 pm | Link
Man. I just. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THIS IS OKAY? At all.
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rusty-halo on April 22, 2008 8:07 pm | Link
I don’t know, but honestly, I’d feel more comfortable if he was just a proudly misogynist asshole instead of some nerd boy who thinks that this is ENLIGHTENED BEHAVIOR (!!!).
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a_white_rain on April 22, 2008 8:08 pm | Link
YOU HAVE A GROUP OF NINE MEN ASKING A WOMAN IF THEY CAN TOUGH YOU. I mean, not at all, would it run through her head that they might not take no for an answer? This is why male privilege is so digusting.
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rusty-halo on April 22, 2008 8:14 pm | Link
There was a part in the comments (now deleted, of course) where he seriously compared a woman’s legitimate fear of rape to the fact that he feels “uneasy” about what constitutes appropriate flirting behavior. Like “I see where you’re coming from with the whole ‘rape fear,’ but don’t you understand that my bruised little ego is more important?”
*@#^$%@# RAGE*
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a_white_rain on April 22, 2008 8:18 pm | Link
I… I don’t think I have any words for that kind of idiocy.
It’s about someone taking away your control for their own pleasure. Reducing for an object. Saying that what you don’t want doesn’t matter. And that’s just for the lesser-damaging types of rape.
And it’s not like men are the only ones who are even confused about flirting and things. I JUST. HOW DO THE TWO COMPARE? One is a natural thing most of go for, the other tends to make people see red.
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10zlaine on April 22, 2008 7:16 pm | Link
This is like one of those unbelievable Penthouse Forum *I’d never have ever believed this could happen to me* stories – except it’s for a bunch of sleazy, greasy gamer con boys to giggle *tee hee boobies* at.
What are the odds that they didn’t ask every single type of female? Pretty strong, actually – and this just goes to show that it wasn’t just anyone with boobs/moobs (no doubt there were plenty of *those*) in the spirit of promoting free love type fuzzies. I’d bet the farm they only asked women who they felt fit into the most disgusting of their ideals.
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rusty-halo on April 22, 2008 8:05 pm | Link
OH MY GOD I KNOW.
It’s like… not only is he perfectly happy with the idea that women should feel that their “attractiveness” is “validated” by the fact that men want to grope them, but he thinks he’s being magnanimous by doing so! “It’s Utopia! I’ll heal your self-esteem and my own insecurity with one grope!”
The rage, it burns.
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orange_crushed on April 22, 2008 10:22 pm | Link
So fucking disgusting.
It’s one step above the “she was asking for it” defense. The idea that to be a woman, to be out in public as a woman, is somehow a provocation to men or a challenge to men or an invitation to men; rather than you just being a human being living your life.
Sometimes I forget for whole days at a time that I am surrounded by the madness of the patriarchy, and then this. “Oh,” I say. “Yeah.”
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rusty-halo on April 22, 2008 10:33 pm | Link
Yeah, what a strange thought, that women might have our own thoughts and desires and LIVES TO LIVE that have nothing to do with men’s sexual desires.
He uses so many of the same old patriarchal arguments and he can’t even see them. (“Her boyfriend approved”–that’s relevant HOW? “She needed me groping her to validate her attractiveness”?!) Talk about privilege.
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queenofattolia on April 23, 2008 3:52 am | Link
I attribute this shit to 1) men today thinking porn and rap music/videos are REAL, and 2), the reluctance of women to scream “GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FUCKING PERVERT BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!” when one of these gallants asks/doesn’t ask to fondle any part of their anatomies. For some reason women give up too much power to these morons. Don’t do it! Make a goddamn ruckus. Most of these guys are huge wimps anyway, and who cares if they yell obscenities back at you? They’re the assholes, not you!
When I was young and fair and living in New York or LA, whenever one of these morons yelled anything at me, I kept walking. What the hell did I care if they kept babbling behind me? On the subway, anyone who got too close got a swift, sharp elbow and a “FUCK OFF PERVERT” which usually sent them scuttling off to try their luck elsewhere. And on the one or two times I was followed in my car, I made a beeline for the nearest police station (you have to know where they are everywhere). This is simple stuff.
Sometimes I’m glad I’m old and decrepit now. Men today are obviously even more pig-like than they used to be.
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rusty-halo on April 23, 2008 12:30 pm | Link
*sigh*
I know. I wish more women would stand up to this bullshit. (Which is part of why Hollaback is awesome.)
When men yell at me on the street, I ignore them or give them a death glare. (Part of the reason I’m so attached to my MP3 player [during the day in crowds] is that it prevents me from hearing harassing comments, and if I don’t hear them, my day is a hell of a lot more pleasant.)
But it’s not always that simple. I like to go to rock concerts, and usually my friends don’t. So I go alone, because I’m not going to let that stop me from living my life. But being alone, in a mosh pit, in a skimpy outfit that I’m wearing to prevent myself from fainting due to heat exhaustion… well, a lot of men take this as a license to grope or rub up against me. And what am I supposed to do? Sometimes I literally can’t get out of the situation. And why should I have to leave when I’ve been standing for hours waiting to see this band up close? And if I did scream or try to object, the people around me might not even be able to hear me, or might not care. And the man might get violent, and no one may notice, and I’m not strong enough to fight back.
I don’t know what the right choice is. And it’s a horrible, disgusting situation that makes me feel ashamed no matter what I do.
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CassandraSays on May 6, 2008 11:01 pm | Link
I’m right there with you on the concert harrassment. Why can men not grasp the idea that a woman at a concert is probably there TO SEE THE BAND. Not to find herself a groper, thanks.
I’m not even going to get into the “must be a groupie” assumptions because, grr.
Also, The Ferret is a fucking moron and his project is standard male entitlement wrapped up in a new package. Didn’t we already have this conversation with hippie men in the 60s? No, you cannot lean me to englightenment via your dick, dude.
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queenrikki on April 23, 2008 2:16 pm | Link
I am continually annoyed by this sort of thing. It’s as if you’re supposed to feel ashamed that you some times want to look good for yourself. It seems like women can’t win no matter what we do.
*is annoyed*
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rusty-halo on April 23, 2008 2:29 pm | Link
Exactly. You can’t win.
We’re constantly told that “unattractive” women are grotesque and irrelevant and shouldn’t even exist or at least should be kept out of the public eye. (Look at Rush Limbaugh complaining that if Hillary Clinton were president, the poor traumatized men would have to watch a woman grow older. Or the straight male Doctor Who fanboys complaining about Donna as a companion because she’s “too old and unattractive,” as if the sole purpose of a companion is to appeal to their sex drives.)
But then we’re also told women who try to appear “attractive” are “asking for it” and “deserve what they get.”
Literally, there is no way to win. There is no way to take yourself out from under the male gaze and just exist for your self. Everything you do, say, and wear will be evaluated and judged based on this horrible sexist standard.
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queenrikki on April 23, 2008 8:39 pm | Link
*sigh*
You know that bit about Donna being “too old” has been bothering me lately. I won’t bother about the unattractive bit because beauty’s in the eye of the beholder, yada yada. But too old? She’s only three years older than David and she’s the exact same age as Kylie Minogue and I don’t remember anyone running around saying she was “too old”. I think Donna’s frankly awesome (and has very nice hair). Just because she’s not what this idiot guy thinks is attractive, doesn’t mean she isn’t an interesting character.
I’m going to stop there because I’m getting myself upset.
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